Jesus Hater

Long post about a dead guy. Disclaimer: Don't read it, if you think I'm stupid!!

Someone mentioned to me today that I was a Jesus hater and I was being very rude and disrespectful for voicing my opinions about the guy in front of them. This person, who didn't really care to mention that they believed in Jesus Christ-their-savior, felt that it was so offensive, shouting was the only way they would get the message across.
This person got mad at me because I had casually joked about Jesus being a stupid carpenter. That got me thinking. I don't generally think of myself as a rude or insensitive person, quite the opposite, I consider myself to be very sensitive and attune to people's feelings. (I know when someone's on their period. it's a gift)
The comments that I drop almost daily, concerning religion are completely accurate in MY opinion. I wouldn't be so passionate about them if they weren't, but to other people, they are like knives in the lower rib cage.
Sure, it was rude and insensitive of me to make those jokes about Jesus, but at the same time, the Jesus Christ I know, and the Jesus Christ they know are two very different people (spirits, dudes, dead guys, etc. ) . This person, who I like very very much and am very good friends with, doesn't realize this. There are many Jesus Christs! lots of them.
Therefore, it was actually very offensive to me for her(yeah, it's a girl) to say that she believed in Jesus being the son of God. I mean, what I heard, and what she said were two different things.
While what she said was "How can you say that about Jesus when I believe in him" what I heard was: "I believe in this guy that is dead and now that he's an 'un-dead' he wants to fuck you in the ass and have little demon babies with you, and while whispering detailed descriptions of fucking into your ear is a complete fuck face ."
WTF? I knew I couldn't say that to her, so I just agreed.
It hurt me that she said that. I kinda ignored her for the rest of the day. In my mind I was wondering why the hell she wanted all that for herself? and Why would anyone else in the world ever want that. how could they "love" that Undead sex predator?

I guess I am a Jesus Hater. But the Jesus I hate, and the one you love are different. Got it?

P.S. I don't discriminate against any religion.