The Protector

Just submitted my short screen play, "The Protector" for consideration in a 26th Santa Barbara Film Festival competition. Fingers crossed, some people will see a short film written by me on the Independent silver screen next year in January/Feburary.

Its interesting that something that started as a cheating scheme between me and another film student, turned into a few dollars scholarship for outstanding writing, $100 from that sad little student, and a possible entrance into a film festival.

ok. Don't jinx it MJ!!!! PRAY TO JESUS CHRIST FOR ME TO WINN!!

Being Magnanimous

It's not my fault that I'm an asshole.

Ok, maybe it is.

I fear that my upbringing may compromise me from being a good person. I don't want it to prevent me from being able to do something, or see different viewpoints. Sometimes, I know that what's hindering me is my predispositions from my upbringing. Unfortunately, this makes it hard for me to make educated opinions. Maybe I have some sort of deep seeded hatred for something, someone, or some opinion and that holds me back. But then its not really my fault, but it narrows my perception, making it difficult for me to be cosmopolitan.

It holds me back.

So whenever I feel like I have to make an informed opinion about something, whether it be relevant or irrelevant to me, I always have to step back and ask myself if those opinions are based on educated reason, or just pure prejudice. I hate that about myself. I wish that I could just be open to everything without having those notions. But I can't, and I know that a lot of people who have grown up in similar situations have the same problem whether they are aware of it or not. Again, passing judgement here, a lot of those people are blatantly unaware of their ignorance.

How do you change something about yourself that has been ingrained into you from the time you were born?

For example, I have deeply rooted hatred, of course that term is relative, more like predetermined prejudices or dislike for Christianity/Christians. From Orthodox Catholics to Mormons. There's just something inside me that is prone to reject them as intellectuals. Not so much with other people from different walks of religious life like Muslim, Judaism, Buddhism, or even Scientology, although all equally ridiculous in their own right. I know that my dislike stems from my experiences from my childhood and formative years.

My art teacher for 3 years, Mr. F, was and is probably one of the most moral, kind, cool, respectable, honest, understanding, noble persons I have ever met. He's some super human worthy of a Noble Peace Prize. He's a genius in his craft as well as in human interaction. Mr. F acted as a form of mentor/father figure to me for my high school years. The thing is, Mr. F is an Episcopal Christian, which although is one of the most liberal and tolerating among all the other Anglican Christian organizations, I still consider it to be the same in thought as the most conservative Southern Baptist churches. That makes it hard for me to believe that he is the great, great man that he is as well as being a devout Christian. My narrow minded argument of all Christians being dogmatic, ideological, unintelligent retards falls apart with the introduction of someone like Mr. F.

That didn't necessarily stop me from arguing with him and trying to belittle his beliefs in anyway that I possibly could. I regret doing that, but I know that the prejudices or assumptions that I have/had with Christians is not my fault. I do it unconsciously because of my rebellion towards the ideologies, prejudices, assumptions and dogmas that I was raised with.

Of course that doesn't make it justifiable.

I strongly believe that raising a child with prejudices is harmful for that child in the future where they will be forced to make their own opinions about a subject in the ever changing social world. Please, please, please, if you are raising a child make sure that you do not raise them with prejudices and predispositions towards anyone, because that doesn't help anything. Even things like looking down on the less intelligent or less fortunate. If you love your child, teach them to love as well. Instilling hate into a child is the worst form of corruption imaginable.

I blame you, childhood!! I blame you for making me a self-centered asshole!

I hate kids and love the Schwarzenegger

I feel bad for people with kids. Probably because some of the most annoying little fuckers I've met have happened to be children and their mothers. Whenever I'm on a train, bus, or plane, there is always a screaming baby near me and I have to hold myself back from wringing its poor innocent neck.

Like right now. I'm sitting in a library calmly trying to do my work and this mother brings her screaming child in! The nerve! Take your child and stick it where the sun dont shine.

Of course the IRONY is:

People with kids probably feel sorry for me because I'm a selfish and spiteful person. Touche!

In other news. I think Stephan Hawking is a robot. Here are my reasons: 1. He's a genius, probably knows everything about everything. 2. He has a robot voice. In conclusion, he is a robot. He's like the Terminator...just doesnt look like Arnold.

Here's something he said recently:

"Because there is a law such as gravity, the universe can and will create itself from nothing. Spontaneous creation is the reason there is something rather than nothing, why the universe exists, why we exist," --Stephan Hawking

REBOT DEFUNCTION!

This is like at the end of the movie Terminator 2: Judgement Day, when they push the Silver Surfer into the burnign lava! Oh Steve, get back to your good, old, analytical, skeptical, genius robot self. We miss you ...

Spontaneus creation? Here's my version of spontatneous sexy pose creation!

prom.

Never thought the day would come when I would be able to go to my very own senior prom.

Well, people. That day is tomorrow.

I know its cliche, but I'm super excited. I got a dress (a red one), shoes (sparkling ones), and we're all riding in a LIMO to the SHeraton hotel!!!

Please pray that I don't bust out any Josey Grossey bullshit, or go Carrie on everyones asses, or a She's All That or 10 Things I Hate About You. Or whatever other high school prom nightmares from the 90s.

Its gunna be fun!

Done...

I'm over it... It was just too easy!

I got what I wanted and because it was so easy I'm over it.

When I look at him I don't see him the way I used to. All I see now is someone I deeply love as a friend. I know of instances where it works the other way. Friend to something moRe. For me its friend to something more and back to friend. I think our friendship is stronger now...

Anyways, enough about that.

PROMMMMM!!! So ya I'm such a loser that I can't even find a goddamn date. Actually I can, I'm just too goddamn independent. I'm gunna cruise solo or go with my lesbian girl friend. :)

That damn Justine bieber song.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

When he's with HER ...I can't stop thinking about him.

When he's with ME ... I wish I was somewhere else.

But at the same time, I like the thing we have.
Is that wrong?

It's like that one justin bieber song. Pft. Not like I listen to Justin bieber and have all of his songs on my iPod.
It's not like that at ALL! But Justin just knows how I feel!

Oh high school drama.

ItBark

I am panicking.

Move on the 15th and I dont know where im going.

curious...very curious.

Beatniks are out to make it RICH!

THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!:

What troubles me most about these messed up families (i.e. John+Kate, Octomom, Balloon boy family) Is what kind of awful shit the children have to go through! Combined number of children of those 3 families is 8+14+3=25!!! THats like an army of poor helpless children that suffer at the hands of their fame-whoring parents. STOP HAVING SO MANY DAMN KIDS!!!

OH! I forgot about the Duggard family! That bitch has got to stop popping them out! 8+14+3+19!=44! WTF!??

44 children that will grow up and be forever know as being the children of "Those terrible people"

I feel sorry for Octomom's kids.!! THose poor babies!

Moral of the story: Stop these fame-whores for the children's sake, and don't ever have that many kids! Don't have children because the world is already full of idiots and why would you want to hurt your poor little unborn baby by bringing it into this world!? Its worse than abortions!

Okay. back to reality.

Your life is a polka dot

SOUTH PARK was right! Chipotle totally makes you crap blood.

**THose are chilis up there**

1st Day

1st day at work. A fashionable LA restaurant/boutique literally 3 seconds away from my apartment!!! It was fun but it was really tiring. The my coworkers are really cool.

heres a song to brighten your sad little day!~

Shame on you Hollywood

Thank you Governator for having a slightly functioning brain!

Shame on you brilliant filmmakers petitioning to pardon a rapist. Roman Polanski, however brilliant and artistic he may be, deserves to be punished for what he did. He is a disgusting pedophille rapist, who drugged a 13 year old girl and then raped her multiple times. He does not deserve any kind of pardon.
"He's a brilliant guy, and he made a little mistake 32 years ago." is what one film maker said of Polanski! A LITTLE mistake!? Seriously? So it's ok to rape and drug underage girls-for that matter anyone-because it happened 32 years ago?

Forget it! Shame on you, Woody Allen, Martin Scorsese (I love you but how could you!?) , Adrien Brody, Brett Ratner and anyone else who is standing behind this pervert. His art and his pedophillic ways are two different things! One can't justify the other. Chinatown, Rosemary's Baby, and the Pianist are some of my favorite movies! But he still raped that girl!!!

The Governator and I say OFF WITH HIS HEAD!!!
NO MERCY FOR RAPISTS!!!

Gas prices vs. Coffee pricess

Why are people freaking out over gas prices!? What is it, like 4.99 a gallon?

I think that people should be freaking out over the Starbucks coffee prices. Have you see how much it costs? $5.00 for a cup of coffee. How much do you think it costs a gallon?

And I know what your going to say "But we need oil for fuel" well! we need coffee to fuel our bodies! Even though we need petroleum to produce plastics and what not, with out the coffee keeping everyone alert, there wouldn't even be any of those products!

So stop moaning and groaning about gas prices. I bet you spend more money on coffee a week than you do on gas. Its just the politicians way of getting you to vote for them. They get you to get stomach ulcers from freaking out over oil, then when your not looking they make you invade iraq and afganistan for "oil"

cheers!

Cancer

My OAOM - "ONE AND ONLY MOLE"
...probably the only thing that I'm afraid of. I am terrified of cancer treatment. Its not the dying thats the scary part. It's that it takes monthes of suffering to get there. If anyone in my family got cancer (or if I got it) it would kill me.

Sad thing is, pretty much everything will give you cancer. The sun, plastic, Macdonalds, the microwave, medicine, pretty much everything. I was freaking out a couple of monthes ago because I got a suspicious mole on my back after an hour in the sun. I couldn't sleep for days because it looked like a malignant cancer mole!!!
1 in 4 women in America are diagnosed with breast cancer.

So, a note to my dearly beloved: don't live your life in fear of cancer. Pretty much we're all fucked in the cancer department. But if it does happen, just know that I have your back. Stay safe.

Pretty People

Woah, how annoying is it when fortunate people complain about what they have. Sure, its in everyone's nature to want to be unhappy because being unhappy is easy!! But still!

Like when celebrities talk about the hardships of being a billionaire. "I'm chased around all day by paparrazzi! Sooo much pressure! I'm shriveling!!!" Oh please, shut the hell up and go get plastic surgery or something!
Or when rich people complain about their problems, or worse when they complain about how poor people make their lives "difficult"!
But the worst by far is when good looking people talk about the hardships of being beautiful! Its the worst because we all know a good looking person or two who complain about their "flaws"
somebody call the waaaaa-mbulance!

WARNING!!!! This video will make you depressed:

You NEVER give me your money.

Thanks to a certain someone, my hair is a colorful disaster. My roots are still dirty blonde, and the rest of my hair is a split end crazy fest. But in retrospect, I did screw up her hair with that candy apple red hair. I would give anything to have that hair! it was cool. But I've decided to stick with my normal hair. No more hair dying sessions, i am going hippie chic.

Im also perfecting my dance skillz! awwww no! white girl from da hood, say what??? ya, the solja boy and claire delilah is step up 2 the streets. gangsta...

Tyra has given me new found inspiration! Study hard, get in shape, learn guitar, and get into a good college. All for the next school year! WIsh me good luck.

P.S. Word on the street, God is dead. pass it on.


you know you love me, xoxo....yeah, fuck you too!

oh yeah, and im back in LA. trick

Dog Sitting

I'm leaving for Tatiana's today. Dog sitting for a whole month with every luxury I could possibly need.

It's going to be awesome.

I've packed up all my shit and I'm amusing myself with singing Donovan songs to the tune of "Zachius was a wee little man..." weird...

I;m leaving and it's going to be so goooood!.

World Refugee Day

In honor of World Refugee Day (as of last year, I spend a few hours every June 20th for those who suffer the harshness of being a refugee with no home), here's Angelina's video.

Please, please, please, do something for them, and donate or tell someone about it, or even just pray for them if you believe in that dude thats dead...ehehehe.

I DID ITT!!!!

  I made TAW (Theater Arts Workshop) the highest level of theater acting in all of BEVERLY HILLS fucking HIGH SCHOOL!

  Ooooh God, it makes me soooo happy to know that I am actually good at something. I was basically wrapped up in nerves ever since my audition on Tuesday ( I did a piece from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre and Theresa Rebeck's Abstract Expressions) when Mr. B my awesome Drama, teacher said one thing after my monologues "Where were you before you came to Beverly?" So I told him Japan...I was wondering for 3 days whether he meant it in a "I just want to know" type of way or the "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE" type of way. I hope he meant the former. 

  Now that I can breathe, I am really proud of myself. There are 2,500 kids that go to my high school and they all live in Beverly Hills where they have the opportunity of being actors. I mean, a lot of celebrity's children go to my school and it also has a large actors alumni. It's crazy. Angelina Jolie, Richard Dreyfus, David Schwimmer, Nicholas Cage... just to name drop a few...Wink Wink, nodge, nodge. 

   And of all those people, I was one of the few that were selected to be in the actors class!!! Thank you Zeus. Now let me bask in my awesome happiness and I will tell you when I'm in the Fall Play. Ooooh I'm so excited! I love it here!!! I might actually have a chance at doing something that comes totally naturally to me...being on stage!!

Here's a picture of my trophy and certificate that I got at the Theater Department awards. Thanks Beverly~

crazy eyes!

<3 <3 For excellence and awesomeness! <3 <3

Blame it on the eeeeccconnnommmy!!!!

Damn, i cant find a ucking job! nowadays, i blame everything on the economy.
"I got an on my Bio test. Fuck the economy!"
"I stubbed my toe in the hallway, fuck the economy!!"
"There's not going to be a new episode of Lost untill next week?? Fuck the fuckitty fuck fuck recession!!"

Obama help me!! there must be someway that everyone will shut the fuck up about the goddamn economy! I'm so fucking sick of it! yeah, you'll lose your jobs and everything you own. wtf!? cant we all just be happy? is it really too much to ask.
whatever. I dont really care. we're all gunna die one day or another.

and on that note, goodnight

blogging

So I've been thinking. Maybe I want to be one of those famous bloggers. you know, who review movies and music and shows and shit. I mean, it'd be kinda cool.. if you build up a big enough reputation, you get invited to go to screenings of different movies, or get flown out to Vegas to go see the Cirque de Solei or something.
That would be cool.
I'm trying to find something I can do that combines the things I love with the things I can do. 1.) I love movies, music, shows. 2.) Im a cinical bitch and therefore would be perfect at being a critic. 3.) it's sooo goddamn easy.
All I'm saying is that would be cool.

Oh, and that movie the Dutchess (with Keira fucking Knightly and Voldie Voldemortus) SUX!!!!! Dont ever see it, the only attraction is voldie, of course...and they made him all fat for the movie. and jesus christ there are about 1000030020494 side shots of keira knightly's face and her face isn;t that great looking, the entire movie. hardly and plot and it was her frinkin nose the whole time.
one good thing was that the theatre was packed full of old people, so I felt right at home,

cheers